Slowly this week I've been able to put my mind back to work. But it hasn't been easy.
We found out our pup Roxy has a large tumor in her spleen which vet thinks is cancer.....this week has been quite interesting, watching myself go in and out of suffering and peace....watching as I look into the future at every scenario possible that will happen when it's her time to transition.
Every scenario of course has been painful and heart wrenching. And of course none of these scenarios have been real......they are only alive and cause me to suffer when I think about them.
I know this, and sometimes the mind still goes there. I know I'm not superhuman, but I also know that all the stories in my mind are not true.
So I step back into my heart and into awareness and I'm suddenly catapulted into the present moment - into peace - and back with my pup who is, in this moment, ok and not suffering.
And although I know that that can change at any moment, I also know that enjoying her in every moment that is left is what I want to do......rather than spend these last hours, days, weeks, in pain and heartache.
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